She's back, and SHE'S PISSED OFF!!!!

Actually, no, she's not pissed off. She's laying asleep in my bed right now, looking quite contented as a matter of fact. I'd venture so far as to say she seems quite happy. Either that, or she wants me to think she's happy, as she tears open the shower curtain with a bloodlust in her eyes and my Ikea vegetable chopping knife in hand ($7.95 at the Oakville superstore location, shipping extra).

But yeah, she's definitely back. I went up to Ottawa on Friday, to have a really momentous boring weekend with her. And when I say "boring" I mean I had a great time, yet we did fuck all. I caught a ride with Rick, an interning hospital pastor who was going up for a conference. When we finally got there, we did what any two self-respecting guys in a car would do at the end of an important road trip: We got lost.

When we finally met up with Punky, I don't know if I had been more excited to see anyone in my life. Well, maybe when I saw Mr. Dressup, even if it was on his farewell tour and didn't bring Casey & Finnegan. I'd never seen anyone more beautiful than her in my life, standing there in her knee-high platform boots, mini-skirt, and all her tattoos (no mom, she's not a stripper--just kidding, my mom doesn't read this)....

Rick made his getaway to Pembroke to learn about spiritual stuff, and we were alone in the DMV parking lot in downtown Kanata. I took her luscious body in my arms, held her luscious body close to mine, looked deep in her dark brown eyes, revelling every nanosecond of our existence as two individuals coming together as one, and started making out like those annoying high school brats on the back of the bus. When we finally came up for air, words spilled uncontrollably from my mouth, telling her I was falling in love with her.

(insert more high-school quality makeouts here)

Finally, we made it to the bus stop, sat on a broken park bench, and each of us said "I love you" for the first time. Strangely, I didn't want to run. Partly because I couldn't (she was sitting on my lap), partly because I didn't want a whole box of condoms in my backpack to go to waste, but mostly because I wanted to love this spectacular woman. I wanted to bask in the glow of her beautiful face, feel the warmth of her body next to mine, and many other mushy things that have sent most readers for the puke bucket by now...

Anyways, Rick was nice enough to give us both a ride back to Toronto last night, where we are now. She's only here a week, but we're definitely going to be living together in the very near future. In fact, we're going out to buy Sea Monkeys together, just to show our commitment to this relationship. And yes Captain Obvious, we realize they only live for a month. They're Sea Monkeys, not symbols of undying love.